I decided to create a light-hearted post on my favorite laidback day, Sunday. This post is a note to me to limit my distractions, conserve my energy and focus on myself. As I get older, I try to reflect on where I can grow and my own outlook on the world. My Auntie Iesha and I extremely close, we have a lot of thought-provoking conversations. Similar to my mother, she is constantly giving me advice and it’s up to me to filter what advice pertains to me or that I’ll use for my life. This Monday was no different.
She told me that I remind her of herself when she was my age, as always. Then, she proceeded to explain to me what her friend told her, “Esh, you’re always taking on other peoples problems and you don’t use your energy towards yourself.” That really spoke to me because I am constantly taking on other peoples issues. It’s an innate habit and I do it the most with men.
Energy with men
Just like SZA, I’m constantly taking little birds and helping them fix their wings. The problem is that I’m then surprised when they don’t take on my causes or simply fly away when they’re fixed up. BUT GIRL! WHO ASKED YOU TO DO THAT!?! I’ll really be irate like, “Yo, do you know how helpful I’ve been for you?” or “Do you know where I could’ve productively used my time instead of talking to you?” or “Do you even care about me or how I feel?” The worst thing to feel is underappreciation. It’s so heavy.
My energy is something that belongs to me, I have to be more conscious of where I allow it to be. This week I tried it. I put more of my energy towards myself. After doing that, I discovered something extremely viable. I didn’t even have enough time and energy to put it towards anyone else. I spoke to my closest family and friends through text but the rest of my time was spent at my job or towards my goals outside of work.
The moral of this is that you matter Nasia. You matter enough to put your energy towards yourself and the way to help others is by helping yourself first. Let go of the people that don’t help you grow in a positive direction and those that decide that you’re not important enough to put their energy towards. That starts TODAY!