This blog post took longer than expected, I’m aware. My apologies. Honestly, I didn’t have the mental space or energy to deal with the backlash that may go with this post. Homophobia is a tricky conversation. It is second on the list of difficult, heavy conversations people do not want to discuss. Directly below racism BECAUSE YOU CANNOT SLIDE IN AND OUT OF BLACKNESS RACHEL DOLAZEEEL!!! But possibly tied with sexism. Anyway, let’s chat!
What is Homophobia?
What is homophobia? Webster addresses homophobia as an “irrational fear of, aversion to, or discrimination against homosexuality or homosexuals”. OF ANY KIND. Period. That ranges from not wanting to sit by gay people, to casting people who are not straight to hell. That’s all homophobic because the root of the issue is that you don’t want this person to receive the same treatment and/or you don’t view them as your equal because of their sexuality. Which most likely has nothing do with you, YET you’re still worried. Go find something PRODUCTIVE to do. Hate is not welcome.
In addition, to ostracize people due to their or their friend’s sexuality is homophobic. If you’re constantly hitting straight men with statements like, “I’m not going to date any man with gay friends”, “are you gay?”, or “why you always doing _____, that’s gay” what makes you think that they want to coexist peacefully and respectfully with people apart of the LGBTQ community knowing that’ll be your reaction. You just confirmed to them and me, that you don’t have any interest in them. By having friends that aren’t heterosexual and enjoying things that YOU don’t find “masculine”, that’s not reason enough to decide someone’s sexual preference.
Upholding bigotry won’t adjust your spot on the totem pole
It baffles me. This sudden confusion on why the straight men around you aren’t susceptive to your gay “friends”. Newsflash. You’re upholding a societal standard of a group of people who most likely, do not care about you. The ideas that you have based on gender are taught to you and are most likely used to hold up this trash ass Anglo-Saxon cis heteronormative narrative. In other words, people want to keep straight, Christian white men as the top of the food chain. Anything that isn’t that way or what you’re used to, it is bad.
Furthermore, when bringing up the subject of homophobia please stop telling me your anecdotal experiences and how you’re not homophobic but ______. My father told me at 8 years old that anything after but is bullshit. Period. Stop trying to excuse your bigotry. I don’t like it when white people tell me about their one black friend. I don’t want to hear about your ONE GAY FRIEND OR YOUR ONE GAY EXPERIENCE. I’m tired. You don’t want to read books or articles and would like to stay a bigot and ignorant, that’s fine. Just don’t expect people to conform their identity to make you feel comfortable. In conclusion, when you or the people around you are spouting their homophobic jargon, stop. Please begin the conversation by saying the fact you’re an ass to just be…an ass.